I would like to announce a true miracle.
The waters in Wisła (that's the river which flows through Krakow) started subsiding! You may simply conclude that it has something to do with a reduced rainfall or something else equally prosaic. But no, no, no... it is only because our glorious cardinal Dziwisz performed some sort of a secret rite involving bobbing up and down as well as large amounts of magic water and other things mystical.
The interesting thing about the clergy in Poland is that not a day passes without them telling us how to live our lives, bring children up etc. They are there in their best dresses to splash magic water on anything, new bus shed, power plant or a fountain. Splashing water on fountains seems a touch silly, but who am I to judge...
Anyway, with wealth probably well over the country's budget they just disappeared from the media the moment people actually needed help. I did not see a single priest on TV offering to pay for a bulldozer or sandbags. Obviously the non-magical water is bad for their health.
Schools were being closed and offered as refuges, not parish halls or churches.
Yesterday, when the waters started subsiding, I caught a glimpse on the telly of Mr. Dziwisz (the cardinal) mumbling something about St. Stanislaw and how he always protected Poland and how he (the cardinal) is going to wave his magic wand and the St. Stanislaw will rush from heavens to help. In fact I just found out that the remains of St. Stanislaw were hoisted up a tower for him to be able to "see the magnitude of destruction"... OK, call me a nonbeliever, but if St. Stanislaw is indeed a saint, shouldn't his bones be able to see the destruction from their cosy silver box? Don't saints have like X-Ray vision or summtink? Is a vantage point on a tower so much better?
Well, what do you know... it worked! The river is even lower today!
Hallelujah brothers, sisters and the confused!
I am contemplating prostrating myself for a week or two in front of the cardinal's centre of heavenly command. I can only hope it doesn't rain on me...
The cardinal has also promised to pray for the people affected by the flooding and reminded them that the disaster should enliven and enforce their faith - simple and obvious conclusion, innit?
Don't get me wrong, I am of the opinion that everyone is entitled to their faith and should be able to behave whichever-odd-way they choose.
I however am unable to comprehend that in the centre of Europe, in the XXI century antics like that are included in the news reporting and that in the serious section. If it sat somewhere with the baby panda and a tomato shaped cucumber, I'd have no problem whatsoever.
Last disclaimer. I assume that if the clergy has the right to give advice on parenting and sex life, I have the right to give advice on religion.
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Continuing on my way to hell I'd like to share a photo with you.
It is of a publication I spotted in one of the Kiosks selling cigarettes, TV guides, soft porn and tram tickets.
Is it just me, or is there something wrong with this picture?
Is the boy leaning backwards, with his hand in the "stay away" mode?
Is the old guy just a touch creepy?
The title says: "Proofs of sainthood"... I know of a few places in the world where people get arrested for such proofs. I contemplated buying this publications (for research purposes only - I swear!), but I am afraid it's a bait and one could be arrested for buying it.
Nothing's sacred anymore, nothing, not even young boys...
PS.
It's Saturday, the Brits* are here, time to hibernate for the weekend.
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* There will be a separate story on the superior race visiting Krakow on weekends. Stay glued!
